We all have this little thing ingrained in our minds to fix things. You can see it with a child or maybe even remember an incident yourself as a child. Your toy breaks and you try to fix it. If you can’t, you take it to one of your parents and say something along the lines of, “please,(mom/dad), fix this, it’s broke!” So if something isn’t working right, we try to fix it. For example, a loose wheel on your bicycle. Grab wrench tighten down the bolt and there you go, no more loose wheel. A Light bulb that does not work properly. Take it out and put in a new one, problem solved. A vase falls off the desk and breaks. Grab the super glue and begin putting the pieces back together. It even carries over into relationships with our significant other. Example, Honey whats wrong, why are you upset with me, why isn’t this relationship working out? You want to find out the “WHY” of the relationship problem so it can be addressed and fixed. It’s our Human Nature to try and fix problems. We start off with “WHY.” Why is this not working. Then follow up with “WHAT”. What can I do to fix the problem.
I was that person that was blessed to be able to fix many things with ease. I even had people come to me for good moral advice on how to address and fix certain situations in their life. So now I’m faced with an issue that I can only address and not fix, Traumatic Brain Injury, (TBI). Yes, I know I’m not a brain expert! I simply feel that if I could know the WHY to the reason things are the way they are now, I could fix it. I know my therapist, at my brain rehabilitation/therapy center, have heard me say this a thousand times. WHY is it hard for me to understand this, WHY do I have a stuttering problem now, WHY can’t I talk right, WHY can’t I sleep, WHY can’t I be in public places, WHY can’t I comprehend things now, WHY is it so hard for me to do such a simple task. WHY do I have seizures now. WHY, WHY, WHY…. and yes each issue I have is addressed and treated to the best of medical capabilities ,”BUT”, I don’t want to hear the answer BECAUSE OF YOUR TBI, is why. I want to know the ‘WHAT’ so I can try and fix this.
What can I do about these problems. Honestly, nothing. I can only use the strategies and techniques that I’ve learned from my therapist. I mean, you only have to be patient and “it takes time” for the rest of your life. Basically it’s like working with something that’s broken, but you still have to work with it. The strategies and techniques are great don’t get me wrong. It’s only that, I can’t fix this. No medicine can fix this. No Doctor can fix this. No Therapist can fix this. It can only be addressed and not fixed. There is no answer to the WHY are things like this. There is no answer to the WHAT can I do to fix it. There is only Medicine, Doctor’s and Therapist that can help you and HOPE for some improvement. You can’t put a cast on it. You can’t put a Band-Aid on it. Please, do not misinterpret what I’m saying either. I thank God for my Therapist and Doctors.
I’ve learned over the past few months that ACCEPTANCE is my answer to the WHY. I’ve learned that LIVING EACH DAY is my WHAT can I do to fix it. Patience is the tool needed to work on this. Once I established these three answers as obtained goals in my life, it took some emotional pain away. I can only use the strategies and techniques I’ve obtained from my therapist. I can only take the medicine my Dr. prescribes. The reality of the situation is that there is no legitimate answer(s) for WHY and WHAT, only “Because of your TBI,” that’s why.
Live each day, Laugh each day and find HOPE in each day………