The simplest of things that can happen to me and it can open my eyes to make it personal, life relatable issues and deal with my walk with God. I was writing in my journal this evening and my pen gave out of ink. No big deal. Just because I wanted to, I took the pen apart to see if it was out of ink and simply hadn’t malfunctioned. Yes, it was out of ink. I was holding the empty ink chamber in my hand. The Ink chamber is transparent. I could see all of the ink was gone. However, there was just a small amount of residual ink left but couldn’t be used. So, I threw the pen away, went to my kitchen drawer and grabbed a new pen.
Okay, so what’s significant about your empty pen? The thought came to me, “I AM THE PEN NOW!” My head is the actual body of the pen and my brain is the ink chamber. The day of my injury was the day all of the ink was used up in my brain. Now my mind is an empty ink chamber. All of the ink is gone. Everything I’ve done from birth to the day of my incident, my mind has been writing it all down. But now, a lot of it has been erased due to memory loss. The doctors and therapist that analyze me ,(take me apart), and see that, yeah, there’s no ink. However, there’s just a small residual of ink left in me. It’s not enough to rewrite the “Life of Me” that once was. So, throw the old me away and get a new one….
So through rehabilitation, therapy and a lot of hardwork, I have this “New ink chamber in my mind!” Only, this new pen has no insight or past knowledge of me! It’s now forced to write this new present and future story of my Life. It doesn’t know any background knowledge of who I was or any knowledge of who I am now. So, I have this new pen with no story to write. It has no clue what to write except what it goes through each day. The struggles of this new life.
I hope that all makes sense to you. I’m trying my best to explain it, considering my circumstances now.
I believe my injury was a wake up call from God. WHAT????? God hurt you??? No, God ALLOWED this injury to happen so I could see I’m nothing without His hand guiding me. This has allowed me to draw back closer to Him. It’s allowed me to pick up my walk with Him where I left Him standing there on our path alone.
Backslider? Yeah I was and I’m ashamed of it. Repentance, Grace and Mercy has restored me. Yet, now It’s not my story to write anymore. The story I was writing for my Life was not the story God had written. He stepped in and took control. So now He has the pen and I’m at his Grace and Mercy to do whatever it is He has written down for my future. The doctors said I’m lucky to be alive, due to where and the extent of my TBI. BUT GOD said,the work I called YOU out to do long ago has not been completed yet. Isaiah 55:11
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
Yes, I have serious medical issues and problems now. I feel these will serve as a reminder to stay straight on course and know that the work, God has called me to do is not accomplished. He’s building a testimony over my Life right now, so one day I can share it from beggining to end. This is for His power and works to be displayed through me for His Glory and give me the opportunity to share His goodness with others.
He’s the only reason I’m still here today. The least I can do is surrender my Life to His Will!