I believe I stated this phrase in a prior blog. “Looking at pre-injury TBI videos and pics are my biggest enemy!”
I’m soon to be discharged from my therapy/brain rehabilitation center next Monday the 13th.
So a question one of my therapist asked me today, at the beginning of one of my sessions was “you’ve come a long way since last October(2017), what are some of your positive highlights and what are some of your negatives from your experience here and overall dealing with your TBI?
At the time I didn’t know what to say. I gave an honest answer of what came to mind at the time. I’ve thought about that question all day. Since I’ve had time to think about it, I finally know my answer(s).
Positive Highlights – First off I’m alive. So I thank God for that first and foremost. I could be a whole lot worse off than anticipated by my Doctors, considering where the bleed was on my brain and the traumatic blow to the back of my head. Second, all of the positive coping strategies/techniques I’ve acquired over the past ten months to help me function properly day to day. Finally accepting the fact that “ok, I do have a serious medical condition now, I’m okay with that and accept it.
Negative Highlights- WoW…. I could make a huge list, but the one thing that has me really upset is, the lack of energy I have now. FATIGUE! Yes, the Headaches and other symptoms I daily struggle with will always be a huge negative. All the rules to follow and diagnoses I now have are really an adjustment. But, the one thing that I had a passion for, pre injury, was “working out!” I was a Gym Rat, I loved the exercise, the weights, the hard work and results that came from it. I was 203lbs when I got hurt. What? 203lbs thats a lot. True, but I was thick and solid also. The gym and exercise were my daily therapy before I realized what true therapy was.
The medications that are administered by my Doctor help me greatly. However, the medicines are a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “They’ll help these problems but may add this problem. This will help with your anxiety disorder, depression and sleep disorder…..”but”….. it can also cause congestive heart failure.” Oh I almost forgot, “so can all the other meds you`re now on. ………Well that’s great……”oh by the way, it’s probably going to add 20 lbs to your weight. Also, this other medicine will add 20 lbs or plus to your weight also. “This has bothered me just as much as some of the main diagnoses on me. I weigh 247lbs now, 10 months post injury! Whoa…. your weight fluctuated between 200 to 205 and now it fluctuates between 240 and 250. Yep! BUT….on my monthly evaluation report, it’s informed me and suggested, I get back into the gym. Of course I’ll have to have supervision now, which will be odd.
Excited isn’t the word for it. How it’ll happen, more or less is. How will I even get there now that I can’t drive?
I miss the gym. Definitely will have to go at odd times when there’s barely any people there. This is due to my social anxiety and paranoia. I’m definitely excited over it. I also know it’s going to be a different world to me now because of FATIGUE, headaches and other issues. Its going to be like everything else in my life now, Pace myself… I’ll get it back…..I just have to take it slow!
I’m definitely going to have to go back and read some of my prior blogs on PATIENCE and Pace.. But…. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME… PHILIPPIANS 4:13